okay, YY has enlightened me. it's cornices. see, i knew it was something along those lines.

learnt how to describe my state: disillusioned.

well, i DID ask for an answer to my prayer. perhaps it'll finally signify an end. i watched my tears fall, soak into the pillowcase... depressed... for a while, and then sought a way to rid myself of the depression. of which i've been using these past couple of days, which may not be a very good solution. i guess it'll suffice for now.

played floorball today. we changed PE teacher so we got Mr Seet. he's really very nice, quite friendly and not as scary as i thought he was. the good thing about floorball is that i can control it better since i hold the stick the same way as right handers but have an added advantage of using my dominant left hand to guide its movements. and i shoot a bloody goal! Mr Seet said it was a spectacular one. :) happy happy cos i like the feeling of doing well in a sport. heehee. we won 2-0. Mr Seet was saying that we were 2 football teams, we were Chelsea and the other team was Liverpool. Quek was Gerrand... haha, quite funny la. then he kept on calling the liverpool team, which he was on, the teammates by the footballers' names. one PE lesson that i really worked out, even more than the tennis lessons. hope the next lesson will be just as interesting.

having bloody headaches and feeling inapt. i think it must be cos things are happening at such a fast pace that my head spins trying to catch up with the rest of the world. it is only when i relax that these headaches go away. grr..

it's good friday tomorrow. it's going to be a full day with qing ming in the morning so must go visit my dad's dad's grave at 7am then going to church for service then going to marche at Suntec to celebrate my sis's birthday for lunch. then i think must start on the Ariel essay. grr. still got another measure for measure essay that was given today. feel like screaming. and just feel so lazy to even start, but you know me, i don't like leaving things to the last minute. it makes me feel so unprepared.

i'm prepping myself up for a good night's sleep that starts right after American Idol's results come up. going to pamper myself in some way. i deserve it.

all for the better good. now... if only i believed that.